This
has been a very blessed month for the Jones family. Many of you know
about the concerns we have had for our son, Nathanael. We have taken
two trips to the Cleveland Clinic, and our son has undergone a lot of
poking and prodding—he stood up to all of that like a real champ.
Though his mom and I were concerned, we knew that the Lord was going
to see us through the challenge. And He did: the results were that
we wouldn't have to come back for more tests until he is seventeen.
There was no immediate crisis, and we were extremely thankful. We
were particularly moved by how many of you expressed your caring by
calls, cards and visits. We even received help with transportation
and expenses.
In
addition, you were all so kind and generous to us during Pastor
Appreciation Month (and my birthday). We received an outpouring of
cards, treats, and gift cards. The church's generous gift of a
shopping trip to Men's Wearhouse will be a real God-send for us; my
wardrobe has been in real need of updating for some time. So, for
all your expressions of love and concern, we want to thank you so
much. Thank you that you allowed the Lord to love us through you! As
I said a couple Sundays ago, the greatest gift you give us is
yourselves: your hearts that are full of love and welcome. Even
though our relatives call the Midwest “home,” you have made us
feel that our home is right here, sharing life with you all.
In
the wake of your many expressions of appreciation and support, I have
been thinking a good bit about Hebrews 10:24-25...”And let us
consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,
not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,
but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day
approaching.” The challenge given here really inspires me, and I
hope it will do so for you as well.
Have
you noticed how predisposed the human mind is to gravitate toward the
negative aspects of our lives and the people in them? The adage,
“nothing sells like bad news” is seen everyday. Watch any news
program, and you will see nothing but an hour of bad news. “Human
interest” stories get thrown in occasionally as the merest token—an
afterthought—and everyone says, “Awww.” But it seems no one
pays that much attention to them. The stories we remember, and talk
about at the water cooler, are the fires and the robberies and the
shootings and the maniac cop-killer hiding in the forests of eastern
Pennsylvania and the Ebola and, and, and...ad infinitum. All
of these things are just horrible, and we should not pretend they
don't exist. But, is that the whole picture? Is human nature so
debased that we never do anything noble or loving—are we all
nothing but monsters? Of course not! So, where's the balance? If
we are shown nothing but the blackest aspects of human existence, how
will we know that there is an alternative—that we actually can hope
and aspire to true community, charity and compassion? We need to see
and celebrate the best parts of people so that we will see those
examples and make the noble part of humanity our focus and goal.
This
tendency toward a focus on the negative reaches into our
relationships. I notice it from time to time with my own children.
I have really great sons—I love so many things about them. They
are far from perfect, but in general they are very respectful,
loving, sensitive, intelligent, hard-working, and really very funny.
These things are such a dependable part of my sons' character that it
becomes commonplace, expected, and, I am ashamed to say, taken for
granted. Instead of continually praising and appreciating the
absolutely wondrous things about my sons, my attention gets drawn to
the times when they do slip up, drop the ball on their
responsibilities, and require correction. I'm not about to say that
we shouldn't correct our kids; my sons will be the first to tell you
how readily I will correct them. But again, where's the balance?
Are my sons nothing but trouble, constantly in need of rebuke?
Absolutely not! How will they know, however, that they are precious
to me and full of qualities that positively thrill me, unless they
hear that from me more often
than they hear the rebukes? Given what my sons hear me say to them,
how would they answer this question: “My Dad thinks that I am
_______________” Fill in the blank. If they think my opinion of
them is mostly negative, how will they know that they can actually
aspire to fulfill the greatest things about themselves? Oh, and by
the way, if you are wondering whether our little scare with
Nathanael's health has brought me to this season of soul-searching,
you'd be right on-target.
I'm
sure you can see where I'm going with this. We are surrounded with
people given to us by God as priceless gifts. We are further given
the overwhelmingly powerful privilege of seeing and helping them to
become the best they can possibly be for the Lord. Too many of us
think that the path to that is to aggressively attack the
less-than-excellent qualities about them. So we do little but focus
on and criticize the negative things we see in them. We might even
think we're doing them a favor. But in general, people tend to live
up to your expectations of them. If your comments toward them hover
on times that they have been incompetent or untrustworthy, chances
are they may live right into that mold. If, however, you come at the
people in your life with the expectation that they they have been
created by God with real gifts and excellence, they may just be
inspired by the vision you cast for them and strive to live up to
that great vision you have for them. Expect the best from people,
and you will be amazed at how often they will give you that. Even
when they don't, make it clear that your expectations haven't dropped
a bit. That will motivate them to know they can get right up, let
God dust them off, and get right back on the road toward being the
priceless people God has redeemed them to become.
This
Pastor's Appreciation Month has been so encouraging for my family and
I. I know that I am far from the ideal pastor, preacher or anything
else. But when you tell me that you're praying for me, and when you
say that you appreciate the small things I can do to live out
Christ's love among you, that inspires me to live into that vision
even more. The great thing is, we can all show appreciation to the
people that are gifts to us from God. Take the time to appreciate
and praise what has been created in them by God, and makes them truly
a unique and valued person in God's and your eyes.
